Comfort in the Kitchen

After a pretty tough week last week, I found myself in the kitchen recreating recipes in an attempt to comfort myself with food.  And the goal was to replicate foods I once loved but can no longer have.  I spent most of the summer trying to do this for my daughter so that when it came time to go back to school she could have 'copy-cat' foods.  I didn't want her to ever feel that just because she has food allergies that she's different and has to live life without. It's been a challenge to make something that brings a smile to her face as she's a very picky eater, but we have had some wonderful successes. :)

Over the weekend, I made some Gluten Free Vegan Crusty Bread from Ginger Lemon Girl along with some Magic Sauce from 101 Cookbooks.  Oh, my, was my belly in heaven!!  The Magic Sauce was so good, I made another batch to take to some of my GFFs (gluten-free friends).  My daughter said the bread was "yummy," which I know she thought so for it disappeared quite quickly. :)  Plus, one of my GFFs said the bread was the best she's tasted since going gluten-free.  It's always fun when you spend that much time, energy, and money into your creations and they turn out better than you could have ever imagined.  I know the days of taking a single bite and spitting "it" out in the trash aren't over, but it's nice that it's no longer the norm.

I also made some Paleo Spiced Nuts from Elanas Pantry.  These were such a hit with all the kids that I had to make three batches!  Half my kids don't even like plain nuts so this non-verbal fact is saying I hit the jackpot....which doesn't happen often enough with now 6 in the mix.  I'm excited to have found such health-ful foods for my family and friends.

Today, I was back in the kitchen trying to recreate graham crackers for my daughter.  She used to love them and I want her to love them once again.  I followed the Grahams Plain and Fancy Recipe from The Sensitive Pantry.  (You should note that I make adjustments as necessary whenever I follow a recipe to adapt them to our likes and allergies so my version may not be exact)  My daughter isn't home from school yet, but I know she will not like them.  The molasses has overtaken the taste and she doesn't care for molasses.  So, tomorrow I will try again, omitting the molasses, or at least toning it down, and using more honey.  However, they taste very similar to my Great Aunts' molasses cookies and, once again, I am a very happy me.  Not just because my belly is happy, but because I found comfort in the memories I have attached to one of my all-time favorite cookies.

My Great Aunt Aggie and Aunt Laura used to make molasses cookies every Christmas.  It was my Grandma's job to ice them.  Since as long as I can remember, that we a task she shared with us grand-kids. I remember anxiously awaiting the day when the cookies were baked and ready to frost.  It was almost like waiting for Christmas morning without knowing which morning Christmas would come.  When 'the day' would finally come, we'd go over to Grandma's house where she had the card table set up with a table cloth, different colored powdered sugar icings and sprinkles.  I remember being in awe at the great job she did decorating her cookies and she would tell us that ours looked better than hers.  For those cookies which we felt didn't make the cut, we quickly ate so that no one would ever see our 'mess ups.' :)

My Great Aunts have passed away and my mom has carried on the family tradition with now my children frosting the cookies.  My Grandma comes over to help 'oversee' the baking activities and to eat some of the 'mess ups.'  Since developing Celiac, I can no longer be around when white flour is in the air or even touch something made of gluten with my bare hands.  So I've missed out on some of the family traditions as I've had to live without - without favorite food, without family fun, without making memories.  And that sadness often led to me hiding out in the bathroom with the Kleenex box.  As time passed, it became easier.  Yet, I still longed for those Christmas molasses cookies and being able to decorate them with my girls and with  my mom as "Grandma."

Today - the graham cracker 'flop' is my Christmas molasses cookie replica!  I have struck gold and couldn't be more excited!  Dancing in the kitchen once again :) And with the successes over the weekend, I realize that I am actually cooking and baking myself to a place where I am just as healthy as I am happy.  I am finding joy in the sorrow - I cannot wait to make these with Christmas cookie cutters in 8 weeks or so - and a hope for brighter tomorrows for the foods I'm now creating and eating actually bring health to our bodies.

With all this said, I hope you, too, find that living the g-free life is truly living!  I must run off now as my GF neighbor is coming over to share a little smackeral of crackers and nuts - the perfect afternoon 'pick-me-up.'